Senile Puppet of God

I was at the doctor’s office about six months ago. I was there because I was convinced that I was having heart problems. In reality, I was having acid reflux, panic attacks, and a case of being stoned too much. My doc had listed to my heart and given me an EKG and told me that everything seemed fine. She wanted some labs run and it was while I sitting on a bench in a hall way waiting to be called in for them to take my blood. I felt a hand on my leg and I looked over to see a pair of bright blue eyes contrasted by pale, wrinkled skin and thin, frizzy, silver hair look at me.
"You’re just a little boy." She said. It was as though she read my mind, I was sitting on that bench truly believing that if I lived to see 30 it would be a miracle. The lady then began talking to a nurse and showing her obvious dementia. I don’t know what to feel about that whole thing, but it feels significant, like God was giving me shout. I still think that I’m dying and still not convinced that I won’t die tomorrow, but it’s nice to know that I was offered a little reassurance.

Death and Universe Soup

Is dying like falling asleep or waking up? I can see it both ways. Like, our souls are the real beings and our lives are just dreams. It kind of makes sense when you think about things like DNA, Dinosaurs and plate tectonics. Maybe this universe was imagined by my soul. Maybe its dream is some way of communicating something to itself that its conscious mind is failing to see. What would it be? I heard that they mathematically figured out that beyond our universe is other universes, they say it has to be that way, that we’re just a noodle floating in universe soup (2+2 = universe soup). So what is the broth? Sometimes I think theat they are relying on numbers a bit too much. Then I suppose it doesn’t matter, but still I think about it. Imagine inhabiting the broth universe and walking around and seeing all these other noodle universes floating in your own. I wonder if one could see in, or if the noodles are opaque. Most noodles are. Maybe the broth is where souls live and the noodles are just their dreams. Maybe when you wake up, you're just a floating, glowing jelly fish bobbing around in the universe broth making noodles when you sleep. Maybe all the other jelly fish dream themselves into the noodles too. But maybe this is it? Maybe when we die, we really do just fall asleep and never wake up. I don’t know if that’s comforting or not. I guess it all depends on how tired you are. So then are ghosts just sleep walkers?